Like many first generation kids, my life goals were largely given to me. Higher education, a good job, marriage, etcetera. So many etcetera’s. My 20’s were mostly spent figuring out how to make other people’s agenda items my own. It took me years to realize that some projects I built, were not rooted in a personal motivation but rather a sense of obligation. As in, ‘I don’t want to let you down’. As in ‘if it’s important to you, it’s important to me’. As in, ‘I don’t know what I want, but I’ll help you figure out what you want.’
This has been one of the silver linings of the pandemic — being able to recognize that what holds value for me, may only hold value for me. I know this may sound really simple. I think because it is. I know how to prioritize your goals. Am I willing to be as dedicated to mine? And do I even notice when something that was important to me yesterday no longer holds true for me today? Yes sometimes what I wanted ten years ago, I still want. Yes, sometimes it really is about getting through a series of to-do’s. But sometimes, it’s about getting quiet, being willing to ask: What’s the real work? For me. For today.
When I asked here’s what came.
To move my body.
To make the bed.
To write for free.
To find the good.
To read.
I believe this is what a relationship of trust looks like. Asking a question with sincerity, being open to what comes. Sometimes the real work is mental health. Sometimes the real work is breath work. Sometimes the real work is not working.
The work has always been yours to define. So I’ll ask you too. What’s the real work? For you. For today.